TMST enthusiastically presents...

December the 3rd, 2002.

King Sluggy's Film Review: Ninja Revenge

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As far as unconvincingly acted, poorly dubbed and atrociously edited martial arts flicks go, this homemade film by Peter Maverick Bridger & his younger brother "Xeryus" captures the essence of the genre with a certain class not seen since Jackie Chan's pre-Hollywood days. With laughably contrived (and badly translated) dialogue, super-lame fighting scenes that would put the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers to shame, and magically disappearing/reappearing headbands, this film is 2 minutes and 20 seconds of good value cheese. The backstory behind the plot (ha ha) becomes apparent from the dialogue, and has something to with one ninja striving to exact his horrifying revenge on behalf of his dead dog or something. For the DVD enthusiast, Ninja Revenge comes complete with many, many clips of "bonus footage", which was probably meant to be edited out, but wasn't. Against convention, this footage is not hidden in "bonus tracks" but is instead displayed during the actual movie, for convenience.
On the amateur Kung-Fu flick scale of "bad" to "depressingly unbearable", I give Ninja Revenge a great ass-whuppin' "frightful". It could have scored itself a "god-awful", but unfortunately the acting was well above the standard of most Kung-Fu flicks. I am looking forward to the many, many terrible sequels that may be made in the future.

Download NINJA REVENGE now by clicking here! (1.7MB)
Crick to downroad!
NIIINNNJAAAA REVEEENNNNJU! HmmmMMMMMMMMmmmmm!!!!

-King Sluggy (AKA "Too Much Spare Time", in non-Keen related environments.)

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The Silicon-Breast-Implant-Fish